INSIDE: This post is a guest post by Nicole from Higher Level Living. Feeling burnt out or stuck in the vicious cycle of always feeling like you’re falling behind? This third instalment of the How to Elevate Your Life series shows you how to feel like you have it all together – even though you don’t. Let’s dive in!
Want to know the secret to feeling like you have it all together?
It’s accepting that you will probably never have it all together or be able to do it all…and being okay with it! When you accept this, you will feel more at peace with who you are and what you are able to get done.
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The vicious cycle…
Truth is, modern-day life is more busy and chaotic than ever. And society has put this pressure on us to constantly do more. As a result, we pile more and more on our plate as we try to convince ourselves we can do it all, regardless of how burnt out we might feel.
Over time this becomes a vicious cycle that makes us feel like we’re always falling behind and never doing enough.
Taking back control…
Today we’re going to break this vicious cycle. I’m going to help you feel like you have it all together, even though you don’t.
Tip #1: Shift your perspective.
Perspective is something I’m constantly coaching clients on because it impacts everything in your life. Perspective is the way you view the world. It shapes your attitude, energy, self-regard, belief, and approach to life.
If you believe you’re supposed to have it all together, you’ll forever view the world through the lens of trying to have it all together. But the truth is, each day is different. Change and obstacles are inevitable, so striving towards the ideal of having it all together is just setting yourself up for failure. The only way you would ever really have it all together would be if you were able to predict the future and plan for everything that will go right and everything that will go wrong. And that’s just not possible.
So instead of believing you should have it all together, let go of that false belief and shift your perspective. Which brings us to tip two.
Tip #2: Let go of perfectionism.
Tip two is all about letting go of perfectionism for presence and flexibility. Now that you have come to terms with the reality that you will never have it all together (because it goes against the only constant in life; change), it’s time to adopt a new ideal.
If you’re a perfectionist this will be tough because I want you to let go of perfectionism! Yes, let it go! It’s as easy as deciding from this day forth you will bring the best of you to all you do (recognising the best of you will be different from day to day) and deciding instead to be present rather than perfect in life.
When you embrace presence over perfection you have a more flexible approach to life. Ironically, in letting go of the need to control everything, you gain more control because you’re more flexible, resourceful, calm, and able to roll with the punches more.
This approach to life makes you feel like you can tackle anything that comes your way and strengthens your confidence in your ability to get things done regardless of change…which in turn, makes you feel like you have it all together – even though you don’t!
Tip #3: Stop comparing.
This tip is simple and straight forward. Comparision is quite literally the thief of joy. The longer you try to keep up with the Jones’, the longer you’ll feel inadequate and unhappy in your life. Rather than looking outward, I want to encourage you to look inward for approval.
One of the most powerful ways to ground yourself in this area is by taking the time to get clear on what your values and priorities are as an individual and as a family. When you live in alignment with your values everything feels right from within and comparison slowly loses it’s hold over you.
Need a little help in this area?
I have a special gift for you. My Personal Planning Retreat is a FREE virtual retreat that helps you design your life around your values and top priorities so you can experience more peace and happiness in your days. Find out more and access the retreat here.
Tip #4: Ask for help!
Why is it as women we hate to ask for help?! I think this alone proves that we’ve been brainwashed to believe we should do it all in life. If you want to feel like you have it all together in life, you need to release control more by working smarter NOT harder. Also known as delegating!
I still remember my own breaking point. It was after my 3rd cancer diagnosis and I was barely able to do anything on my own. Never in my life have I felt so beat down or weak. It wasn’t until people just started helping me on their own that I realized how much we all need help in our lives.
Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. Having people help us in the areas we are weak only makes us stronger. So, let go of your pride. Ask for help when you need it and delegate tasks so you can be even more productive!
Tip #5: Ground yourself through self-care
This is your secret weapon. If you want to feel like you have superpowers in life, if you want to bring the very best of you to all you do, if you want to feel like you have it all together – you need to establish habits that ground you and connect you.
This is your secret sauce! Establish habits and routines that strengthen you from the inside out so you feel like an unstoppable force, regardless of what comes your way. Find the things that if you do not do them, make you feel off your game. And then make them daily non-negotiables in your life.
I promise you it’s not selfish, it’s necessary. Especially if you want to bring the best of you to all areas of your life, feel at peace with who you are and finally feel like enough.
Need help getting started with this?
Check out my Habits for Higher Level Living program. It’s a self-paced online program that helps you develop habits that will elevate, connect, and ground you in life. I also offer at-home wellness programs with virtual wellness groups for community, accountability and uplifting connection. Find out more here.
Even just 5 minutes of quiet time alone each morning will ground you more each day. And if nothing else, I want you to know that you are doing the best you can. And that is more than enough.
All the love,
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Nicole is a certified Life Coach, consultant and your guide to higher-level living. After being diagnosed with cancer three times before the age of 30, she is relentlessly committed to all things wellness, personal growth, and living life on purpose.
She’s living proof that it’s possible to make your dreams a reality and live a happy, prosperous and full life even in the face of relentless adversity. Today, her passion is equipping you to do the same. Find Nicole over at Higher Level Living, on Instagram, Facebook and Pinterest. Develop the habits that elevate you in life with her Higher Level Living course here.
How to feel like you have it all together (even though you don’t)…
Thanks so much for this post, Nicole! These days there’s so much pressure to be everywhere, to do everything. And the assumption is that if we’re not doing that, we must be failing somehow. But it simply isn’t true. This post is such a great reminder that whilst we might not have it all together, we’re doing better than we think. And that there are things we can do to let go of the pressure we place upon ourselves and feel more in control.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the pressure of trying to do it all and wish you felt more like you have it all together, why not give one of Nicole’s tips a try. Here they are again:
- Shift your perspective.
- Let go of perfectionism.
- Ask for help!
- Ground yourself through self-care.
That’s it for this post!
Before you go, don’t forget to check out the rest of this series too! Here are the links:
- 9th August: Why you should be setting intentions as well as setting goals.
- 16th August: How to reignite your passion in life.
- 30th August: The secret to living your best life.
Did you like this post? Which tip to help you feel like you have it all together will you be trying first? Let me know in the comments!
Until next time…
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Want to guest post for me just like Nicole?
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Did you like this post? You’ll LOVE these too!
- How to Create a Life You Love
- Why You Should be Setting Intentions as Well as Setting Goals
- How to Reignite Your Passion in Life