INSIDE: Want to focus more on your marriage? Currently facing challenges in your marriage or want to strengthen your relationship with your husband so that you can build a better marriage? A 30-day marriage challenge is THE way to do it! Find out why in this post.
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Do you miss being a couple?
If you’re feeling disconnected from your husband or like you spend more time being mum and dad instead of husband and wife, I know exactly how you feel.
You see, whilst my Hubby and I are fortunate that we work from home the majority of the time, our offices are in separate parts of the house. And that means that during the day, we rarely see one another. If we’re lucky, we’ll pass one another in the kitchen whilst refilling our coffee cups, but that’s about it.
Our busy work schedules plus the school runs, household chores and the dinner, bath and bed routine all mean that we’re left with very little time to be a couple. Date nights are far and few between and come bedtime, we’re so shattered that we often fall asleep before we’ve had a chance to say goodnight to one another – let alone do anything else!
All of which makes us feel incredibly disconnected from one other. Which we hate!
And so, in a bid to foster a deeper connection with my husband, I decided that I would do a 30-day marriage challenge. And boy, was it a lot of fun!
The 30-day marriage challenge…
If like me you’re looking to reconnect with your husband and want to be more intentional about the way you spend your time together, I highly recommend giving a 30-day marriage challenge a go.
Not only did it help us to rekindle the flame, but it also reminded us of all the reasons we fell in love and got married in the first place. And it can totally do the same for you too!
Want to know what a marriage challenge is, why you should do one and what it involves so that you can do it too? Well, keep reading because all is about to be revealed!
What is a 30-day marriage challenge?
Just like the title suggests, a 30-day marriage challenge is all about focusing on your marriage for thirty days straight. Helping you to make your marriage your top priority for one whole month, you do one small thing every single day to reconnect and relight the spark.
The idea is that come the end of the 30 days, you’ll have a stronger and happier marriage because you’ve had plenty of time to connect. The mini-challenges in a 30-day marriage challenge help you to be more intentional about how you behave as a married couple and the way in which you spend time together.
Whether you start the marriage challenge at the beginning of the month or pick it up halfway through is totally up to you. As is whether you do it by yourself or you do it together.
Personally, though, I think it’s a lot more fun if you do it together – which is what we did!
Why do a 30-day marriage challenge?
No matter how happy you think you might be, focusing on your marriage for a few days and working to foster a deeper connection can really help you strengthen your relationship. Especially when you don’t get to spend as much time together as you would like.
Not having quality time together can be pretty frustrating, which was the main reason why I decided to make a 30-day marriage challenge one of my monthly challenges.
You see, whilst there’s nothing wrong with my marriage per se, my Hubby and I get very little time for ‘us’. Juggling working full time with managing the house and having two kids leaves you very little time for your relationship. He and I definitely spend more time being mum and dad than we do being husband and wife.
If it’s the same for you too, a 30-day marriage challenge will help you to reconnect. It will also stop you from feeling like you’re neglecting your marriage. Especially if you repeat it whenever you feel like your marriage could do with a little extra attention.
So, which 30-day marriage challenge did I choose?
After spending a bit of time hunting on Pinterest, I decided to go for this marriage challenge from iMom. With mini-challenges like “hug your husband three times today” and “look at him admiringly, make sure he sees you looking at him”, I knew it would help us feel closer and reconnect.
And having now gone through it I can tell you that this marriage challenge more than lived up to its promise!
Want to know what my favourite mini-challenges from iMom’s 30-day marriage challenge were? Here they are!
My favourite 30-day marriage challenges…
Marriage challenge #1: Ask: “What can I help you with today?”
This was a really nice challenge to kick things off with. It made me realise that I don’t often ask my husband if there’s anything I can help him with. Which is something I definitely want to improve on. Especially as he was really touched that I asked. It was such a small gesture but an incredibly important one.
The simple act of asking if there is anything you can do to help shows just how much you care. Try asking your husband what you can do to help him today and see what he has to say.
Marriage challenge #3: Hug your husband three times today.
I love hugging my husband so this wasn’t a particularly difficult challenge for me! We hug one another at least once a day but being intentional and making sure that at least three hugs were shared was fun.
If you and your husband don’t hug as often as you would like you’ll really enjoy this challenge. Embrace those hugs. Sink into them and don’t rush to push away. You’ll be amazed by how much closer it makes you feel!
Marriage challenge day #7: Leave him a sweet note.
When we were first together my husband and I would always leave post-it notes everywhere for each other. A habit that we both loved, I’m not sure why we stopped doing it. We both miss it and so, this challenge was a good excuse for us to bring it back.
Walking into a room and seeing a post-it note with a nice message from your loved one really brightens up your day. It makes you feel connected too. And so, what sweet note could you leave your husband today?
Marriage challenge day #8: Put at least one date night on your calendar this month.
This month was a crazy busy month for the two of us and so going out for a date night during this 30-day marriage challenge was unlikely to happen. But that wasn’t going to stop us from spending time together. And so, looking at the rest of the challenges, we booked in Day 17 as our at-home date night.
When was the last time you had a date night with your husband? Why not go to a movie or have dinner at your favourite restaurant? You could even pick up take-out drive and to a spot you used to hang out at when you were first dating.
And if like us, you need to have a date night at home, what could you do instead? You could have a carpet picnic, turn off the TV and play games or even have an at-home spa night together!
Marriage challenge day #9: Imagine how it feels to be in your husband’s shoes.
This challenge was an interesting one. I’ve never really stopped to think about how it feels to be in my husband’s shoes. I know he spends the majority of his working day on the phone and he works very long hours. But I’ve never really sat and thought about what that must be like for him.
It gave me a renewed appreciation for all that he does. How about you? What’s it like to be in your husband’s shoes?
Marriage challenge day #10: Today’s focus: Kindness.
I like the idea of having a focus for the day. It makes you so much more intentional about the way you behave. It causes you to stop and think about your actions and how you respond to situations.
I worked really hard to respond to everything that my husband did with kindness today. And I think he noticed too because out of the blue he gave me a hug and said, “I love you”.
Acts of kindness really do make all the difference and they’re not that hard to do. Not only will they brighten up your husband’s day, but they’ll brighten up your day too!
Marriage challenge day #11: Tell him: “I’m so glad I married you.”
I wanted to find the perfect opportunity to tell my husband this today. And so, I waited until he and I were having dinner. and it was totally worth it. It was so lovely to see the smile on his face when I said those words. We then spent the rest of dinner talking about the memories of our wedding day.
Sharing this with your husband is a great way to lighten up that spark. You could say it to his face write it on a note or even text it to him so that he can read it at work. However you do it, you’ll be surprised but just how much those few words bring you closer together.
Marriage challenge day #15: Think only positive thoughts about your husband.
When you’re having a tough day, it’s easy to get frustrated with your husband and think negative thoughts. I for one have definitely been guilty of this. Especially when I’m trying to pull dinner together by myself and could do with a helping hand. Even though I know he can’t help because he’s stuck on a conference call. I still get frustrated! But for this marriage challenge, I did my best to not do that.
This mini challenge made me realise that my frustrations and negative thoughts are more about me and how I’m handling my day. And that they have nothing to do with my poor husband.
Turning those negative thoughts on their head and thinking something positive instead meant that when he had finished work and came downstairs, I didn’t take my stress of the day out on him – much to his relief!
How often do you think negative thoughts about your husband? If it’s more than you would like, give this marriage challenge a try and see the difference it makes. I can’t tell you how much happier this one action made me feel about our relationship!
Marriage challenge day #16: Thank him for all he does for your family.
I’m very thankful for all that my hubby does for our family but I don’t tell him as often as I probably could. Making a mental note of all the things he’s done for us recently, I shared them with him when I had the chance. The list included being the main provider, cooking dinner on the weekends so that I could take a break and teaching our youngest how to make his Star Wars Airfix kit.
What has your husband done recently that you could thank him for? Make a mental note and tell him.
Why not involve your kids with this challenge too? Ask them what they’re thankful for that their dad has done for them and see what they have to say!
Marriage challenge day #17: Laugh with your husband today.
As I said earlier, my Hubby and I rarely get the chance to hang out together. But when we do, we always have a lot of fun. And so, this was the marriage challenge I was looking forward to the most.
Day 17 might have been a Monday, but that wasn’t going to stop us from having an at-home date night! Once Harrison was in bed, we curled up on the sofa with a glass of wine and watched one of our favourite comedies. Which one? Did you Hear About the Morgans!
How could you have a laugh with your husband today? It doesn’t have to be watching a funny movie like we did. It could be playing a prank on one another, telling each other jokes or sending him a funny GIF by text.
Marriage challenge day #29: Turn off the electronics, phone, TV, tablet etc.
After a long and busy day, it’s tempting to just zonk on the sofa. My hubby and I often find ourselves scrolling on our phones or zoning out to something on TV right up until we go to bed. So on this night, we made the effort to switch off the TV, put down our phones and give one another our undivided attention.
We made a pot of our favourite tea, put on some music and just talked.
It was so nice and reminded us of those early days when we were first together. The days where we would go for a long drive, park up somewhere, turn on the stereo and talk into the early hours of the morning. It’s made us want to turn off the electronics and make the effort to talk to one another more often.
If you usually spend the evening on your tablets or in front of your TV, why not give this mini marriage challenge a try too? I have no doubt that like us, once you’ve done it, it’ll become more of a regular occurrence!
The marriage challenge that makes your marriage stronger…
There you have it! The 30-day marriage challenge that brought my hubby and I closer together and my favourite mini-challenges from it! This challenge was part of my year of 30-day challenges. Twelve fun and practical 30-day challenges I’ve specifically chosen to do to help me to:
- Be more intentional about the way I live my life.
- Be more present.
- Have more fun.
- Use my time more wisely.
- Take better care of myself.
With February being Valentine’s month, I thought it made perfect sense to make February the month I would focus on nurturing my marriage. And it was a lot of fun! Not only did it help us to reconnect, but it also rekindled that flame and strengthened our relationship too.
And it can totally do the same for you!
So, if you’re currently facing challenges in your marriage or you want to build a better marriage, why not give it a try?
Tempted but feel like a 30-day marriage challenge is too long?
Try a 10-day marriage challenge or a 7-day marriage challenge instead! Simply pick your favourite mini-challenges from this 30-day marriage challenge and just do those!
Better still, why not create your own. And if you do, share it on Facebook or Instagram and tag me @asimpleandcontentedlife so that I can see it too!
Want more 30-day challenges like this?
Don’t forget to join the Facebook group too so that you never miss any of the challenges!
That’s it for this post! Have you tried a 30-day marriage challenge before? Has this post prompted you to give this one a try? Let me know in the comments!
Until next time…
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