INSIDE: This post is a guest post by Karen from Moving Toward Better. In it, Karen reveals how knowing what the personality traits of both yourself and your family not only helps you foster deeper connections but live your best life too. Trust me when I say it’s a post you’re definitely going to want to read! Let’s dive in!
Do you ever look at someone’s personality traits and wonder why they live the way they do?
Perhaps you’re more reserved, and you have a friend that loves their job as a receptionist where they talk to people all day. Perhaps you’re more outgoing and have a friend who’s an accountant and would rather work with numbers than people. It’s often said it takes all kinds to make a world, and when people live the life that suits their predominant personality traits, it makes the world a better place.
There are many personality models, and several help people discover and understand their personality traits. For this article, we’ll be focusing on the DISC behaviour and personality model.
The DISC system…
In the DISC system, there are four main personality types and forty-one personality blends. There are also over 24,000 plotting points within the different blends. Is it any wonder that unless we understand someone’s personality traits, we’re doomed to miscommunicate and misunderstand them?
Some of us are outgoing, others are more reserved….
The outgoing people are generally faster-paced, optimistic and energetic. Reserved people are typically methodically paced and low key. Unbalanced, outgoing people become overbearing while reserved people become uncommunicative. In balance, reserved types learn to speak up to ask for what they want or need, and outgoing types learn to steady themselves and stay aware of their pace.
Additionally, some people are task-oriented while others are people-oriented. Task-oriented people prefer planning and individually working on tasks with clear expectations and deadlines. For the people-oriented, teamwork and flexible working conditions are essential to their well-being. Those with a task orientation lean toward high-tech. Those with a people-orientation, on the other hand, lean toward high touch. In balance, task-oriented people practice empathy while dealing with co-workers and finishing a task. Those with a people-orientation learn to plan their work and work their plan.
The four DISC personality traits…
In the model that we are using here, the four basic personalities are represented by the letters DISC:
- D’s are outgoing and task-oriented.
- I’s are outgoing and people-oriented.
- S’s are reserved and people-oriented.
- C’s are reserved and task-oriented.
D types tend to be dominant, driving, determined and decisive doers. I types tend to be inspired, influencing, impressive, interactive, and interested. S types are generally supportive, stable, steady, sentimental, and shy. C types are cautious, calculating, concerned, careful and contemplative.
Understanding the personality types…
A great analogy to understand the personality types is to think of them as hats. Everyone owns all four hats, but some hats feel better while you wear them. An outgoing, people-oriented person can work on a detailed task for a while, but after a short time, it becomes unbearable. Conversely, a reserved, task-oriented person can attend a social event, but at some point, they need to step away from the crowd to stay centred.
The key to living your best life is creating a life that supports your needs whatever they happen to be. And that’s where things can become complicated.
When opposites attract…
There’s a saying that opposites attract, and this seems to be especially true in couples. People find those with opposite personality traits intriguing and balancing in the beginning. But, as the relationship progresses, those opposite traits can become the fodder for arguments unless they’re understood.
An outgoing, people-oriented type may misunderstand that a reserved, task-oriented type is quite happy to sit in a corner at a party and talk to a handful of people. Instead, they may think the reserved type is pouting or being unsociable. On the other hand, the reserved, task-oriented type may misunderstand that the outgoing, people-oriented type talks with everyone because they’re genuinely interested in what they have to say. Not because they’re ignoring the person they came to the party with.
Couples who understand these differences can avoid uncomfortable situations, misunderstandings and even arguments.
Personality traits in business…
In business understanding personality traits is invaluable. A business owner who understands that their best salesperson might lack detail orientation but can bring customer after customer to the table will find a way to help that person complete the detail work. A boss who understands that some people struggle to speak up in meetings but may have valuable input when given the chance to send their ideas in an email, may find more success than they ever knew they could by focusing on that employee’s strengths rather than focusing on how they should improve a perceived weakness.
Personality traits in family situations…
In family situations, when children and spouses are encouraged to live according to their personality, they flourish. Outgoing children put on plays or entertain the family with their vast knowledge on a variety of topics. Reserved children often have clean rooms because they crave organization. They’re more likely to take care of younger siblings to help mom out without asking too.
Task-oriented children thrive with chore charts. But people-oriented children hate them unless their chores include working with someone else. For the parents of these children, creating a chore chart is exhilarating for a task-oriented parent but a nightmare for a people-oriented parent. An outgoing parent loves doing things with their children, as long as it’s something interesting. A reserved parent enjoys being with their children, provided they get some alone time too.
Same personality traits, different phase…
As children grow into teenagers, their personality traits stay the same but dealing with them changes. Your child who loved to play and win games, may turn their focus to sports or grades. They may even push the limits of their curfew too. Your once chatty child may no longer share every aspect of their day with you but spends ridiculous amounts of time snap-chatting with friends. Your cuddly child now prefers to spend time in their room rather than sitting beside you on the sofa. And the child that once loved to read to you now chooses to put on headphones and read or study alone.
Their personality traits haven’t changed, but the way they express them has. And by understanding these changes, parents can avoid so many of the challenges that come with parenting teens and tweens.
Learning about personality traits is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and those you care about. It helps you understand yourself and your loved ones better and live your best life in accordance with your personality traits.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Karen Bemmes is a guide for people who want to live their best life powered by their personality. Using the DISC system, Karen teaches people to understand their unique personality and appreciate others’ personality styles better. She helps improve their parenting, marital and professional relationships while making it all feel simple, easy and natural. Karen even makes housekeeping and organization easier with the Whole Home Reset program, where she takes something she used to hate and makes it easy and quick so you can do what you have to and get to the fun stuff faster.
Understanding your personality traits…the key to living your best life?
Thanks so much for this post, Karen. It’s such a fascinating subject! I’d never thought before just how invaluable knowing the personality traits of ourselves and the ones we love could be. But it makes total sense. Living under the same roof as our kids and spouse 24/7 isn’t always easy, is it? But knowing that some of those little frustrations, annoyances and times we rub each other up the wrong way could be as a result of a clash of personalities instead of there being something wrong with our relationships can not only help us to foster deeper connections but lead happier lives too.
There are times where my youngest and I definitely clash but reading this has made me realise that we just have very different personalities. He’s an extrovert and I’m an introvert. He’s incredibly outgoing and very much a people-orientated person whereas I’m shyer and much more reserved. I’d love to dive deeper into this and find out where we sit on the DISC scale – and I bet after reading this you’re curious where you and your family sit too? I have a feeling I’ll be asking Karen to come back and talk about personality traits a lot more!
That’s it for this post! Are you curious to find out what your DISC personality trait is? Want to knwo more? Let me know in the comments!
Until next time…
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