The idea behind living a simple and contented life is to slow things down. To reduce overwhelm and eliminate the unessential. To make family life a little bit less stressful and a whole lot more enjoyable. Sounds pretty simple right? Well sometimes it is and sometimes it isn’t. There are times where parenting can be HARD and guess what? Sometimes I really suck at it! Sometimes I feel like I’m failing as a Mum.
There are days that go well, days where I know I have things sussed. But there are also days where I feel a little bit challenged. Those days can leave me feeling like I’ve not done so well, that I could have done better.
Now I know what you’re thinking…
I know what you’re thinking, how can I have a blog about making family life less stressful and more enjoyable whilst at the same time admit I don’t quite have this parenting thing nailed? I hear you…but don’t abandon me just yet!
You see, whilst I’m striving to create a family life I love and I’m passionate about helping others do the same, I’m not quite there yet. And that’s ok. Yes I’ve discovered more than a few ways to make life less stressful, but I don’t have all the answers and if I’m honest, I’m not sure anyone does. Like any other mum, I have bad days as well as good. There are times where things go well and times where I feel like I take one step forward and two steps back. There are days where I mess up and I’m not ashamed to admit it.
Why am I confessing this?
So why would I tell you this? Am I not worried that by doing so I’ll lose your support? That you won’t want to listen to what I have to say or take my advice? Far from it. I’m sharing this admission because I want you to know that I also don’t quite have it all figured out. There are times where I still struggle too. My creating a life I love is also a work in progress. I might be a little further down the road and I’ve found more than a few ways to make my life easier, but I’m still learning. There are times where I still get things wrong. But I’m ok with that.
So where do I suck?
So do you want to know where I feel I suck? Here are the areas of parenting where I struggle and wish I could do better…
- I don’t take full advantage of the hour we have between getting in from school and cooking dinner. We could spend it playing a game, watching TV or going to the park, but instead I usually end up getting distracted by housework.
- I use Netflix as a babysitter way too much!
- I don’t spend long enough on the bedtime snuggles. Mustering up the energy for stories and snuggles after a long day is hard. Some nights all I want to do is collapse on the sofa with a glass of wine, and so I make bedtime much quicker than I really want it to be.
- I shout when I’m tired, then I feel like the worst mum on the planet. I vow that next time I won’t lose my rag but it’s easier said than done.
Making a change for the better…
The thing is, as mums we put a huge amount of pressure on ourselves. We set ourselves unrealistic expectations of perfection and then we beat ourselves up when we don’t achieve it. But we need to give ourselves a break. We need to learn to be kinder to ourselves. To accept that we cannot do it all, and that we don’t need to either.
At times parenting can be tough. There’s no rule book, no definitive answer, no set way of doing things. We simply have to figure it out as we go along. Mistakes are inevitable, there will be crappy days and there’ll be times where the mum guilt kicks in. But that’s ok. You see, suffering from mum guilt means that we care. Mum guilt is our way of letting ourselves know which areas we need to focus on and improve in order to make a change for the better.
Where I’m failing as a Mum and why it’s ok…
I’ve said before that A Simple and Contented Life is a blog from the heart and I really mean it. I might not have it all figured out but I’m in a place where the good days outweigh the bad and I’m on a path I’m happy with. I’m hoping that by sharing my struggles, by admitting I sometimes feel like I’m failing at this mum thing, you’re reassured you’re not alone. Just like everyone else I have days that don’t go well, but I’ve learnt to take the rough with the smooth. I’m happy with the direction that I’m headed, I’m successfully making a change for the better and I know that with me by your side, you can too.
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