(A guest post by Joy Through Chaos)
Being a mum isn’t easy. We might not talk about it as often as we should, but I’ll admit there are days where I really struggle. And during those demanding and sometimes frustrating moments, it can be hard to look past the imperfections of motherhood.
But when we do there is so much joy and beauty to be found. And that’s exactly what today’s post is all about. The lovely Chrissie Riese from Joy Through Chaos is sharing with us four ways to step back and see beauty in the weeds of motherhood. If you’re a mum who struggles, know that you’re not alone. We’ve all been there and I promise that what Chrissie has to say is going to make you feel so much better.
This is such a great read…I can’t wait to share it with you! Are you ready?! Let’s dive in!
Are you struggling with motherhood?
Do you occasionally have those days where you’re just completely overwhelmed with everything on your to-do list? You’re trying so hard to keep your head above water, but it seems as though everyone needs a piece of you and there are times you wonder if you can really keep going. Can you push through another day? You’re in the weeds. You’re struggling with motherhood.
You’re not alone…
It seems a taboo topic to talk about, struggling with motherhood. But if you gather a group of mothers, it’s a shared experience for everyone. Yet, your spouse really doesn’t understand when you say you’re exhausted and struggling. He says he’s tired too, but he has no idea what exhausted means to you.
It means you’re tired of keeping track of the growing list of chores that need to be done. The laundry that needs to be folded. The supplies your child needs for school. How you know exactly what to pack in your children’s school lunch. Creating the meal plan for your family. Keeping track of everyone’s medical appointments. All of the invisible tasks that weigh on your mind every single day. It’s no wonder you feel like a struggling mum – you’re in the weeds.
Related: How to Reduce Overwhelm
I’m in the weeds too…
I don’t think there’s been a single day that I’ve gotten all of my household goals accomplished since I became a mother. Come to think of it, I’m not even sure I’ve gotten a decent night of sleep either.
I carry around this invisible weight of all the goals I’ve set for myself and the chores that need to get done. How am I supposed to get all of this done and still enjoy time with my family?
I can’t.
Unless you’re superhuman, there’s no feasible way to do everything every day. Something has to give.
The weeds…
Our house is surrounded by this beautiful treeline with tall evergreen trees. It’s one of the reasons I was drawn to our home back when we were house hunting. The previous homeowner had trimmed the lower branches so you could walk under the trees. My oldest child loves it. She can walk up the hill in our backyard and play under the shade of the trees. One day I want to put a playhouse up there.
I bet you’re wondering what the heck this has to do with struggling with motherhood, aren’t you? I promise I’ll pull it all together in just a minute.
Here’s the thing about that treeline, it’s gorgeous in the fall and winter. You know, when the weeds are dead. In the spring the treeline becomes the bane of my existence.
The thing I love so much about our property becomes the one thing I wish I could get rid of.
Why? Weeds.
In the spring all the weeds start to poke up, and our beautiful treeline becomes a jungle of weeds. It’s all I can see when I look at the treeline.
I used to spend hours every spring spraying weed preventer and pulling weeds. But this spring, I just didn’t have the time. It was the low priority on my list. So, the weeds started growing.
And it was terrible.
Well, for me anyway. They kept growing and growing until one day I looked at them and realized, they were actually quite beautiful.
Our treeline was covered in green. Little bunnies were hopping in and out of the shade – my dog really liked that. She’s been chasing bunnies all summer!
I realised that my fight with these weeds wasn’t so different than some of the moments that I am really struggling with motherhood.
How?
It’s easy to get caught up in the day to day and forget to take a step back to see the beauty in the bigger picture. I spent so much time getting irritated with the weeds, rather than just let them grow.
It’s not that different from parenting.
How many times do you get irritated or frustrated with your kids during the day? I’m no saint. I get frustrated with my kids daily – especially when I’m trying to do an essential household chore, like fold the never-ending laundry. The baby won’t stop whining. The pre-schooler keeps demanding attention.
What if, instead of getting frustrated, I just stopped what I was doing for 10 minutes and played with the kids?
Seeing the beauty…
We spend so much time focusing on our growing to-do lists that sometimes we forget to step back and see all of the beauty in our lives. I have two beautiful children and a supportive husband. Every day is not easy. There are still struggles. But the overwhelming sense of satisfaction I get from really seeing my life for the imperfect beauty that it is is merely incredible.
Seems cheesy, right? Like a mushy greetings card. Or something your Grandmother would tell you. The laundry can wait. The cleaning can wait. Your to-do list can wait. How many times have you heard that?
But the days with our children are short…
Why not embrace this time we get with them? It won’t erase all times you’ll still feel like you’re struggling with motherhood, but it just might make you choose to see the beauty in those moments instead of the never-ending frustration.
Slowly I’ve come to find a few strategies that I’m able to be present with my family and really see the beauty in my life. Maybe one or two of them will work for you too.
Four ways to step back and see beauty in the weeds
1. Laugh with your kids
Nothing makes my heart happier than playing with my children. There’s something about laughing with your kids that makes everything seem ‘right’. Even when they’re grating your last nerve, take a deep breath. Collect yourself. And then do something together that will make all of you laugh. I promise you’ll feel better and find beauty at that moment.
2. Dance with your partner
Taking a break from the chaos, turning on your favourite song, and dancing with your partner in the kitchen is a great way to reconnect at the end of a long day.
3. Give yourself grace
No one can do everything. And there’s no shame in accepting that you may not accomplish all of your goals every single day. Sometimes giving yourself grace and understanding in the moment (and maybe even getting a fancy coffee too) is a great way to find happiness and beauty amidst the struggles.
4. Skip chores
Yep. Skip them. Take a week off. Take two days off. Taking a break from the mundane, repetitive tasks recharges your batteries. And you’re giving yourself permission to fill that time doing other things. Last week I didn’t vacuum my house. No one even noticed. Instead, we went to the pool for an hour. It was time well spent.
When you’re struggling with motherhood…
When you’re in the weeds and exhausted and genuinely struggling with motherhood, I hope you can remember that there is beauty in the struggle.
Just like there is beauty in the jungle of weeds in my backyard.
About the Author…
Chrissie is the healthcare professional and mum behind Joy Through Chaos. She loves iced coffee, old quilts, and looks forward to the day she’ll be able to bathe in complete solitude again. She enjoys reminding her readers about the beautiful things that come with the chaos of motherhood and promises to empower her readers with relevant, actionable, and medically credible information they can use to keep their kids safe.
That’s it for this post!
Thank you SO much for sharing this beautiful post Chrissie! I love how you compare the struggles of motherhood to your fight with the weeds in your garden. And it’s so true…it’s all too easy to get caught up in the day-to-day, to feel frustrated and annoyed with everything our kids do. The time with our babies goes so fast and being a mum is no easy task. This post is a lovely reminder that it’s OK to give ourselves some grace. That it’s OK to let the little things go and embrace the imperfections and beauty of motherhood.
Want to know more about Chrissie and Joy Through Chaos? Follow her on Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram. And don’t forget to check out her blog too. Whilst you’re there be sure to sign up for her Joy Through Chaos Toolkit. Packed full of printable resources, it has everything you need to help your kids and easily manage everyday emergencies.
Did you like this post? Are you struggling with motherhood and sometimes feel like you’re in the weeds too? Let me know in the comments below!
Until next time…
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